Saturday, June 15, 2013
Man of Steel Review
Superman has been around since 1938 and most Americans know the basic story of what happens, so I don't feel too bad in dishing out a few minor spoilers. If you don't want anything Superman spoiled at all, then I would stop reading this right here and take that first paragraph as my review. If you don't care or you have already seen Man of Steel, then let's proceed.
Why do I tell you this? I know most of you already know the background to Superman. The answer is I want to paint for you the beautiful picture of the original Superman series and then contrast it to the movie I just witnessed so that you understand where I am coming from. Now the picture I just painted of the opening to Superman I think is one of the best opening scenes in movie history. How do they do it in Man of Steel. First off, I immediately see this picture of Krypton that reminds me of a Star Wars planet. Krypton is not about to crash into the sun, but is imploding. Immediately that is a bad sign for me. Also, we do not open with Zod being in custody. We open with him starting a war on Krypton and we immediately dive into this huge, unnecessary action sequence that includes Jor-El riding on this weird and creepy Star Wars-esque creature. Kal-El is not kept a secret to Zod, bur rather after Jor-El send him off, he announces to Zod that he just sent his son away. Anger and hatred from Zod towards Jor-El is not built up because after Jor-El announces what he did right to Zod's face, Zod stabs Jor-El and kills him. It is after that where Zod gets brought before the council and banished. Krypton then explodes and pretty soon we find that this explosion is what shatters Zod's cage thing. No built up anticipation at all. No built up anger towards Jor-El. Lame death of Jor-El. Lame creature that Jor-El was riding on. Lame destruction of Krypton. Lame, pointless, over-the-top action already. Yeah, that's how this movie begins for me. But I am willing to move on from that terrible opening if the rest of the movie is different. It's not. This awful story continues for all 143 minutes of the movie. Those around me could see how much pain I was going through by my reactions.
Now I didn't expect Man of Steel to rehash the same story of Superman. I expected them to do something different with it and I was really curious and excited about what direction they would take. Yes I get very picky with remakes of movies, but if they do things intelligently I don't mind the changes they make. This one it just didn't cut it for me. We immediately jump right into him being an adult. But he is a much different Superman. We don't get to see him progress much, and when we do, it is confusing and backwards. He starts out as a perfect child and grows into a morally challenged being. We have this weird scene of him going crazy and not being able to handle his powers when he is young, so apparently it takes him many years to adjust. We get this story of his childhood get explained by in flashbacks that jumped all over the place. I think that ruined the story of his earthly upbringing. The death of his dad is awful in this one, by him getting killed by the world's slowest tornado after making the world's worst decisions when being chased by that tornado. Superman himself is an arrogant idiot and I don't develop any emotional connection towards him. He hides his power for the most part, deciding to remain a mysterious character living with his mom and doing very little until somehow Zod immediately comes to earth and says he is going to blow up the earth if Kal-El doesn't turn himself in, so then he shows his face as Superman.
Now if you have come this far and have read every word of this review, I congratulate you as I think this is the longest review I have ever done. In wrapping this up, Man of Steel is a pathetic movie. It is loaded with way too much, over-the top, brainless, confusing action. The story is dumb. The countless plot holes are ridiculous. This movie doesn't even shine a light on the original Superman movies that I love. I'd even go as far as saying that it is an embarrassing addition to the Superman franchise. It's not the worst movie I have ever seen and it may not be the worst movie of this year, but it is easily the most disappointing movie of the year and one of the most disappointing movies I have seen in a very long time. I am giving this movie a 4 out of 10... and I give it that high of a score because of the impressive visuals and decent acting. But know that I feel a little generous with that.