Saturday, November 7, 2015
Now I admit that I'm not up to par on my Bond. That's not to say I'm a newcomer to this genre as a whole. I've watched a countless number of action movies and spy movies. I find them a whole lot of fun and thus I know exactly what I expect when I go into one of these movies. If it's a deep movie with a fascinating story, that's a plus, but mostly I just want to be entertained. Being that I loved Skyfall, I expected something similar to that. But holy cow that movie stunned me. Not in a good way. In a bad way. None of the characters looked invested in this project. Daniel Craig especially looked bored. The story of the movie is not interesting at all. The movie is surprisingly slow and boring. When the action happens, most of it really isn't that entertaining. The scenes that are entertaining to some degree are super cliche for a spy/action movie. The villain really doesn't exist. They talk about him a lot, but that's it. He shows up once before the finale for a brief moment then is there for the fairly short, two-part finale. That's all. I just wanted to be entertained by a Bond movie. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently so. I found very little entertainment value in this movie, making it one of the bigger disappointments of the year.
It was all downhill from there. It's like Sam Smith cursed the movie with his sub-par song that accompanied a horrible title sequence because the movie never recovered. We never returned to the level of that epic beginning. Instead Bond returns to headquarters and Voldemort is pissed with him over the whole Mexico City gig. "But I stopped them from destroying a whole stadium and only destroyed a whole building," Bond argued. "You didn't have permission and weren't supposed to be there in the first place," Voldemort responds. Or something like that. That's not a verbatim quote. But that was the general argument that took place. Bond is in trouble, so they insert some tracking thing into his blood so they know where he is. We reveal that we have this new awesome car. But Bond is not allowed to drive it. He's grounded. You know that means he's stealing the car anyways and travelling around the world. Europe that is. He's out to hunt down this criminal organization that he found out about or re-discovered. Something like that. This should lead to a really intense spy thriller that has you on the edge of your seat the whole time. Nope. It had me struggling to stay awake instead.
Let's talk about some of these action sequences. When push comes to shove, entertaining action sequences should be the best part of a movie like this. A great story, like in Skyfall, is nice. But if the story itself is a slog-fest, there should at least be entertaining action, right? Right? Well there isn't. Not after that opening sequence, anyways. Which I repeat was rather fantastic. We had a scene where Dave Bautista poked someone's eyes out. That was disgusting. Then the people there realized that Bond is secretly there watching him. That leads to a care chase scene with Bautista and Bond. This should've been super entertaining. I love a good car chase. This was kinda boring. I felt like I was watching Nascar. Sorry Nascar fans, but I find that sport mostly boring. We're just watching cars drive really fast in circles, none really gaining on the other. That's what happened here. Two fast cars driving really fast in what felt like circles. Nothing drastic happened. Later they were on a train. This was kinda entertaining. But nothing special. There were a few other kinda entertaining scenes. But mostly there was a whole lot of boring nothing happening between those scenes that just dragged on.
Needless to say, I was disappointed. I may not be up to par with my Bond movies, but I've watched a lot of great spy movies in my life as well as even more action movies. I know what makes a good spy movie. This was not a good spy movie. It has a very good start, but then nothing for the rest of the movie. The characters were dull. Daniel Craig looked like he was bored with Bond. The story was uninteresting. The action wasn't really there as much as it should've been and when it was it wasn't that entertaining when it was there. I was completely bored for the first two-thirds of this movie. The finale was fairly entertaining, but we had a lame villain played by a great actor that led a super cliche ending. What a waste of a great actor. What a waste of a Bond movie. It felt like they just did the bare minimum to get this Bond movie made and weren't super creative with anything. I have some people telling me that I will like this more once I watch all the Bond movies. I doubt that, but maybe. All I know right now is that I just watched a really dull spy movie. All I wanted to do was be entertained and that didn't happen. Thus I am going to give Spectre a 6/10.