Saturday, February 4, 2023

Movies of 2023: The Good, the Bad, and the Maybe

We have entered into a new year for movies and thus it is time to do an overview of what the year potentially has in store for us. Yes, we are actually even one month into the new year. But to cover for the fact that I wasn’t able to get this out before January began, I started the month with my January preview to give me a bit of a buffer, then went hard into my preparations for my yearly top 10. With that posted this week, it’s now time to quickly get this out before then jumping right into the February preview. So yeah, it’s a bit of a bang, bang, bang sort of thing on the blog, but it makes it fun!

Anyways, the explanation for this post is self-explanatory, I think. I gather up the major highlights for what is currently on the schedule for the upcoming year and split it into three categories: the good, the bad, and the maybe. Movies I’m excited for, movies I’m not that excited for, and movies that could go either way. In each category, the movies are listed in release date order, as currently scheduled. So no official rankings of most anticipated to least anticipated. And yeah, for reasons stated in the previous paragraph, we’re starting this in February. The highlight for January was “M3GAN,” which was a blast. And that’s mostly it, outside a handful of smaller releases, like “Missing,” “Plane,” and “Infinity Pool.”

Of course, this is not an all-encompassing list of everything coming out. These are just the major highlights that I currently see on the schedule. It’s mostly fun to put this together each year as a personal project to get myself prepped and excited for what’s ahead, but if there’s even just a few others that find this post fun and useful, then all the better. So let’s begin!

The Good:


Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
– February 17

Yes, I’m still 100 percent on board the MCU train. We’re living in a golden age for comic book films where we can do all sorts of different and obscure superhero movies and TV shows and people will actually show up to watch because of the brand. I have plenty to say about Phase 4 of the MCU, which I thought was perfectly enjoyable. But “Quantumania” starts Phase 5 and appears to give us a strong introduction to the villainy of Kang after being briefly introduced in “Loki.” The guy has an Avengers movie named after him in Phase 6, so I’m excited to get going on this story arc. Plus, I’ve enjoyed both Ant-Man movies, so I’m totally in for a third movie.

Cocaine Bear – February 24

OK, full confession. This probably should be in the bad section. I fully expect it to be really dumb and ridiculous. But after seeing the first trailer, I instantly became absurdly excited to see this crazy romp about a bear getting high on cocaine and causing all sorts of terror.

Creed III – March 3

I love the Rocky movies. It’s one of my favorite franchises. I’ve also loved both Creed movies, so of course I’m excited to see the third movie. It’ll be the first movie without the involvement of Rocky himself or Sylvester Stallone in any way, but I think Michael B. Jordan is fully ready to take on the full load. And he’s also directing this third chapter, which will be his directorial debut, so it’s always interesting to see what an actor can do behind the camera. His foe in the arena will be played by Jonathan Majors, who plays Kang in “Quantumania,” so it’s quite the beginning of the year for him.

Scream VI – March 10

I’m going to have to trust my fellow cinema and horror fans on this one. I didn’t see last year’s “Scream,” but I hear it was really good. In fact, despite having the original “Scream” as one of my favorite horror films, I’ve not yet seen any sequels. So I have some homework to do. Maybe intertwined with my final Oscar preparations, I’ll sneak in a Scream marathon in preparation.

Shazam! Fury of the Gods – Mar 17

I know DC is a giant mess at the moment. A mess that James Gunn is trying to clean up and establish a new, strong reputation for. In which case, that leaves me wondering about what the future holds for Zachary Levi and the rest of the Shazam family. I would be excited for this movie, regardless, because the first movie was one of the best DC films of late, but I was really hoping this wouldn’t be a swan song for this crew. Fortunately, based on Gunn’s brief DC presentation, it appears that he’s keeping these characters around, which is a really good choice.

John Wick: Chapter 4 – March 24

One of the best recent action franchises. The crazy thing about the John Wick movies is that all three of them were about on the same level of high quality awesomeness. Chad Stahelski is doing a great job with these movies. And ever since the third movie finished, I was fully ready for them to flip around and give me Chapter 4 as soon as possible. Unfortunately we suffered through a pandemic in the time between the third and fourth movie, but we’ve finally arrived and I’m ready to go!

AIR – April 5

The first time Ben Affleck and Matt Damon teamed up for a movie was back in 1997 with “Good Will Hunting.” Then they waited all the way until 2021 before bringing us “The Duel,” as directed by Ridley Scott, which I thought was fantastic. Luckily we only had to wait two years before their next outing. Both star. Both produce. Affleck directs. Alex Convery wrote the movie. The movie is about Nike’s pursuit of Michael Jordan. Affleck plays Phil Knight and Damon plays Vaccaro. April feels like a weird month to release this movie, but I have no reason to doubt the quality at this point.

Renfield – April 14

Nicholas Cage plays Dracula. That’s literally all I need to know about this movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 – May 5

As is tradition, Marvel will kick off the summer with one of their big releases. This time it’s James Gunn and what I assume is his Swan Song with the Guardians before I assume he puts all of his attention into DC as he’s now in charge over there. Granted, I’m sure the Guardians as characters will continue on in the MCU, but it’ll be great to see Gunn’s final vision with this group, especially after getting fired and rehired by Marvel. Way more shenanigans than was needed, but it all worked out in the end.

Fast X – May 19

I love how people who have never seen a Fast and Furious movie are still whining and complaining about so many of them coming out. These are some of the most entertaining and self-aware movies that exist. I want them to keep coming and continue to get more ridiculous. I mean, they went to space in the ninth movie. Now all that’s left is time travel or some absurd crossover. Watch them and see for yourself. But just know that they don’t start getting good until the fifth movie.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse – June 2

My tiny, little gripe with this when I put it on last year’s list was the “Part One” in the title. Well, now they got rid of that and it’s just simply “Across the Spider-Verse” for the subtitle. I am sufficiently satisfied. Part Two is “Beyond the Spider-Verse.” That’s much better. And makes for a really awesome-sounding trilogy: Into, Across, and Beyond the Spider-Verse. Anyways, the first one is one of the best Spider-Man movies. Now my only gripe is that I want them to actually get released instead of getting postponed, like they did last year. I finished the first movie with the thought that I wanted spin-offs with ALL of the characters. As well as more direct sequels. So let’s git-r-done!

Elemental – June 16

This is a Pixar movie. And Pixar *almost* always does great. “Lightyear” was a tad bit of a slip-up last year, but they still had “Turning Red” to represent in 2022, which was fantastic. Anyways, Pixar movies always belong on this part of the list. And even though we don’t know a whole ton about this particular movie, but it gives me “Inside Out” vibes, which is a good thing.

Asteroid City – June 23

Wes Anderson. He’s pretty much his own genre of film and you’re either in or you’re out. And I’m 100 percent in. All of Hollywood are always invited into his films. It’s tradition. Continuing that tradition, “Asteroid City” has a list that’s too long to put in this post, but it begins with Margot Robbie, Hong Chau, Tom Hanks, Scarlett Johannson, Bryan Cranston, Edward Norton, Sophia Lillis, Willem Dafoe, Adrien Brody, Steve Carell, Maya Hawke, and Tilda Swinton. And keeps going. I have no idea who is a main character or who is a five second cameo, nor do I care. The movie claims to be about a Junior Stargazer convention that’s disrupted by world-changing events. I’m also not sure what that means and I also don’t really care. I’m just excited to see another Wes Anderson film! And given that this was also supposed to come out last year, it might mean we have two Wes Anderson films this year, the second being “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar.” Scroll down to check out that one.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny – June 30

“Dial of Destiny” is a tad bit of a weird subtitle. It sounds like more of an Indiana Jones parody than a fifth film. That title aside, I’m all in on this film. I know many Indiana Jones fans are proceeding with caution after the fourth film. I didn’t hate that movie, nor did I care too much for it. So I’m on neutral standing. But I genuinely think Lucasfilm and everyone else involved is also trying to forget that one happened and start fresh. And this one is directed by James Mangold. Sure, it’ll be weird seeing an Indiana Jones movie not directed by Mr. Spielberg, but I’m fine with him doing his thing while letting someone new take the reins. And James Mangold is an excellent director, so I have faith.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part 1 – July 14

OK, I suppose I have to be consistent with my “Part 1” debate from above and say that this could’ve simply been subtitled “Dead Reckoning.” But it’s whatever. If the next two “Mission: Impossible” films are one epic story, I can be excited. Just don’t take too long to finish Part 2. That said, this is a franchise that has only gotten better with time. “Fallout” was honestly one of the best action films I’ve ever seen and was in my top 10 favorite movies… of last DECADE. At some point I understand if it’s an impossible task to make a better film than one of the best ever action films. If it’s simply just a “really good film” instead of “the best,” then I will be perfectly satisfied. Not to mention Mr. Cruise is also following up “Top Gun: Maverick” from last year. Expectations for this one will be insanely high. So, Tom, you’re mission, should you choose to accept it…

Barbie – July 21

And we just went from “Mission: Impossible” to “Barbie.” No, this is not a mistake. It’s weird to be this excited for a Barbie movie. Never have I ever anticipated a Barbie movie. But y’alls. This live action Barbie movie is directed by Greta Gerwig, whose last two films were “Lady Bird” and “Little Women,” both of which made my best of the decade list, with “Lady Bird” being top 10 and my favorite of that year. Never doubt the almighty Greta! And not just that, but the teaser they released was one of the best teasers I’ve seen as it parodied “2001: A Space Odyssey.” So it looks like they know what they’re doing! And Greta also dragged her partner Noah Baumbach into this to help write… against his will, which is hilarious. For the record, Noah himself is also on a role.

Oppenheimer – July 21

Well this is quite the double feature. Not only is “Barbie” in between “Mission: Impossible” and “Oppenheimer” on this list, but it’s currently scheduled to be released on the same day as “Oppenheimer,” which would make for quite the double feature. “Oppenheimer” is Christopher Nolan’s next film and is about J. Robert Oppenheimer, who developed the atomic bomb. I’m not sure how Nolan and biopic combine. Is he going to try to do another twisted timeline like he does with almost all of his movies or did he get all of that out of his system in “Tenet” and plans to make a normal biopic? I have no idea. And even though Nolan has burned me more often than not since “Inception,” I still allow myself to get excited for a new film of his. And this one stars Cillian Murphy as Oppenheimer. The dude might be one of the best actors to have never gotten any awards consideration for anything. Hopefully this is the role that breaks that trend?

The Marvels – July 28

Potential hot takes. I actually really enjoyed “Captain Marvel” and “Ms. Marvel.” Sure, “Ms. Marvel” might be on the lower end of the echelon when it comes to the Marvel Disney+ shows, but it was still fun and charming. And I’ve never gotten the hate for “Captain Marvel.” In fact, I’m annoyed that a bunch of comic book nerds got super butt-hurt at Brie Larson’s “anti-men” comments and tried to sabotage the film. That failed spectacularly when it comes to box office, but also helped start a trend where it was “cool” to hate the movie. The movie is not bad. And I’m excited to see the fun team-up of Captain Marvel and Ms. Marvel, even if it’s not towards the very top of the Phase 5 and 6 MCU films that I’m looking forward to.

The Meg 2: The Trench – August 4

I’m not sure why it took them five years to make a sequel to “The Meg” after it made $527 million worldwide in the summer of 2018. We should be on “The Meg 5” by now. I live for dumb shark movies. And it doesn’t get a whole lot better in that regard than Jason Statham fighting a Megalodon.

Blue Beetle – August 18

I consider myself a life-long DC fan, but I’ve apparently hit a bit of a blind side in my DC fandom because I know very little about Blue Beetle. James Gunn seems to have good things to say about this one when he recently laid out his DC plan, so maybe this is a character who will continue to exist in his universe? That was my big question about this one going into this year, as well as all of the DC movies that were scheduled this year before Gunn took over. And there’s four of them? Anyways, I’m all for obscure superheroes getting the spotlight instead of just doing Batman and Superman over and over. So I can be happy for this.

A Haunting in Venice – September 15

The third movie in Kenneth Branagh’s Hercule Poirot series, following “Murder on the Orient Express” and “Death on the Nile.” I think in regards to this murder mystery genre, these movies might be starting to get overshadowed by Rian Johnson’s “Knives Out” movies, which are certainly far superior. And I didn’t care much for “Death on the Nile,” which was a horribly disappointing sensation. But I’m crossing my fingers for a bounce back. Both franchises can live in harmony, right?

Next Goal Wins – September 22

Taika Waititi. What he does, I will show up for. And if he decides that he wants to make a movie about the American Samoa soccer team that lost a FIFA match 31-0 in 2001, then that’s a movie I’m going to be watching. And yes, that’s soccer. Not rugby or American football. You score one goal at a time in soccer and this team lost 31-0 in that format. And yes, I know many were put off my Taika’s “Thor: Love and Thunder.” I personally wasn’t. But even so, this is Taika going back to doing an indie film, which he hasn’t yet missed on, so I feel people should still be excited for this if they liked “Jojo Rabbit” or “Hunt for the Wilderpeople,” which I’m predicting this will be more akin to.

Dune: Part 2 – November 3

My biggest complaint about “Dune” was that it felt like half of a movie. That and I felt like I was thrown into a very deep and dense lore, with the movie not caring to ease me in a bit. But hey, even if a lot of the movie flew right over my head, I’m still excited for the second half of the movie to come out so I can better judge this thing. And perhaps after experiencing both parts, I will be more oriented and ready to explore this world. Because there’s a lot of Dune to go around.

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes – November 17

Compiling this list reminded me that I have another Hunger Games book to read. I remember being excited for that when it was announced, yet the actual release of the book completely escaped me. So I will make that a goal before this Thanksgiving. Now the final Hunger Games movie burned and crashed in a spectacularly disappointing fashion, and I was one who loved how the series ended in the books. I just think the movie adaptation of said ending was awful, this coming from someone who loved the first three movies. Anywho, this one is a prequel, so it’s a clean slate. And I don’t want to go too deep down the rabbit hole of figuring out exactly what this is about because I’d rather discover that in the book first.

Wish – November 22

Dear Walt Disney Animation Studios, this year for your latest film, would you please consider advertising it so that the world knows it comes out? You did not do that thing with “Strange World.” Also, I hope you made a better film this time because “Strange World,” while not terrible, was also not that great. That aside, this is still the next addition in the canon of Walt Disney Animation Studios and those movies are always to be eagerly anticipated.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – December 25

Is this is the swan song for Jason Mamoa as Aquaman? James Gunn also seemed to have positive vibes for this movie, but I’m not sure how much Aquaman is in his future plans. It’s also a bit awkward to have Amber Heard in this movie while Johnny Depp got kicked out of his Warner Bros. movie. And although that upsets me, I vowed not to take that out on James Wan and co. when they’re just trying their best to make a good sequel to a really fun movie in 2018’s “Aquaman.” All of DC is a bit weird right now, but I plan on having a bit of tunnel vision in this instance as I simply watch one sequel to one previous movie. Then we’ll figure out the rest of this as we go. And they’re planning on resetting everything in “The Flash,” anyways, which comes out before this movie does. So maybe we’ll actually have a bit more clarity by the time December rolls around?

Maestro – TBD 2023 (Netflix)

Next on this list is a handful of TBD streaming movies. Up to this point, we’ve gone in chronological order. But now there’s not really any order? Netflix sometimes doesn’t announce release dates until they’re ready to start advertising something. And sometimes that doesn’t happen until right before the movie is released. They kinda do their own thing rather than following in traditions of other studios. That aside, “Maestro” is written, directed, and stars Bradley Cooper in his sophomore outing as a director. Given how well he did with his first outing in “A Star is Born,” I’m excited to see what he has next. I don’t know if this will be an awards contender, but it sounds like one. The movie is about the life of Leonard Bernstein, with Cooper playing Bernstein and Carey Mulligan, Matt Bomer, Maya Hawke, and Sarah Silverman starring alongside him. And awkwardly, this might not end up being called “Maestro”? That’s what it’s been called. And Wikipedia still calls it that. But IMDb now calls it “Bernstein,” which certainly makes sense given the subject matter. So if a movie called “Maestro” never hits Netflix and you also wonder why I never talked about “Bernstein”… I did.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar – TBD 2023 (Netflix)

The other Wes Anderson movie. See “Asteroid City” from above. The half of Hollywood that didn’t join the cast of “Asteroid City” will most likely be showing up in “Henry Sugar.” And while I don’t actually know who the protagonist of “Asteroid City” is, I do know Benedict Cumberbatch will be playing the titular role of Henry Sugar. And I know even less about what all this means. And I’m actually not 100 percent convinced this is coming out this year. Just like “Asteroid City” was meant for 2022 and wound up in 2023, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that “Henry Sugar” will end up in 2024. But as it’s currently scheduled for some mysterious date in 2023, it will be on this list. And it may be on next year’s list, too. We’ll have to see.

Killers of the Flower Moon – TBD 2023 (Apple TV+)

And speaking of movies that have been rumored to be coming out for a long while now, Martin Scorsese is taking his sweet time finishing this movie. I suppose Mr. Scorsese has earned the right to take as long as he wants to finish a movie, but I’m growing a tad bit impatient because this sounds like it will be right up my alley. It’s a crime drama from Scorsese that is based on the 1920s Oklahoma murders in the Osage Nation after oil was discovered on the land. Specifically it’s an adaptation of the 2017 best-selling book, “Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI” by David Grann, which is a non-fiction book that explores the subject. As a film fan, I think I’m legally obligated to be excited for a movie directed by Martin Scorsese and starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro. Given that crime dramas are my favorite, and the fact that Jesse Plemons and Brendan Fraser are joining the party, I’m more than happy to oblige. It may or may not show up on Apple TV+ at some point. Or I might be talking about it again next year. Who knows.

Napoleon – TBD 2023 (Apple TV+)

Apple TV+ is attempting to have a solid year of movies. In addition to being the eventual landing spot of the previously mentioned Scorsese movie, it also is looking to be the home of Ridley Scott’s Napoleon movie, which explores Napoleon Bonaparte’s rise to power. Joaquin Phoenix plays Napoleon and Vanessa Kirby plays his wife Josephine. Predicting the Oscars a year in advance is nearly an impossible task and I’m not even attempting to do so, but if Ridley Scott and Scorsese end up a part of the conversation and their two movies end up being really good, that’s looking to be a solid year at the Oscars.

Flora and Son – TBD 2023 (Apple TV+)

And the final movie included in this section is the third Apple TV+ movie from a big director whose films I get excited to see and that is John Carney. Sure, Carney isn’t nearly as big of a name as Ridley Scott and Martin Scorsese. You might not even recognize who he is by just me mentioning his name. But if I tell you he’s the director of “Begin Again” from 2013 and “Sing Street” in 2016, that might do the trick in getting you excited. If you have no idea what those two movies are, then I just added two movies to your list that you should watch asap because both are really good. Both are music-centered, which is a big part of the reason why I liked them. Following that trend, “Flora and Son” is, too. Flora is a single mom who, as IMDb describes, is at war with her son Max. She finds a guitar from a dumpster in order to hopefully give him a hobby. I have a bit of an inside scoop on this one as it was released at Sundance last month. No, I did not see it. And no, I did not see any Sundance movies. But this one is getting positive reviews. Granted, sometimes festival goers think everything they see at festivals are all cinematic masterpieces, so it’s hard to gauge reality, but nevertheless this director with this premise sounds like a winner to me. So I’ll choose to believe the current reaction.

The Bad:


80 for Brady
– February 3

And now we begin the bad list. I try to put less on this part of the list as to not be negative. I stopped doing end-of-year worst lists, too. But nevertheless, there are still things I’m naturally grumpy about in looking at them and I want to get those thoughts out, too. And we begin with a movie that actually came out this weekend as I’m posting this, so who knows. Maybe it’s great. It has a solid cast. But  I watch these trailers and I see a group of older ladies fawning over Tom Brady in a way that makes me a little too uncomfortable. If this hits strong for older females, then wonderful. But I’ll be seeing Shyamalan’s new film instead, which we’ll be talking about in the final section of this.

Marlowe – February 15

I’m happy that Liam Neeson is happy and enjoying life as an action star, essentially remaking “Taken” a thousand different times in only slightly different ways. But it is exhausting seeing so many of these low-budget Liam Neeson movies all over the calendar every year. This one is directed by Neil Jordan, who is an Oscar winner… back in 1992. So maybe this is the Liam Neeson movie that’s not bad or generic? At this point, I’ll believe it when I see it.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey – February 15

OK, confession time. I’m actually awfully curious about this one, even if I’m awfully sure it will be… awful. But Winnie the Pooh went into public domain recently and immediately someone took advantage of that and decided to make a really bizarre-looking, live action Winnie the Pooh horror film, which makes me laugh hysterically. Not as much as “Cocaine Bear,” but I’m still highly amused at this movie’s existence. But a tad bit confused as to why and how this ended up as a Fathom Events special engagement rather than a traditional release? Maybe that’s another red flag?

Super Mario Bros. – April 7

The biggest reason why I’m excited for this movie to come out is that we can officially say that the 90’s abomination is not “THE” Super Mario Bros. movie. We can now erase that movie from existence. I also at one point hoped that this will do well so that it’ll open the door to other Nintendo property to get adapted. But I’ve slowly changed my tune on that one because this movie looks like a completely train wreck. Still not as bad as the 90s movie, but that’s an extremely low bar. Chris Pratt did not even attempt to sound like Mario and that just messes with my brain. And apparently neither did most of the rest of the cast in their respective roles. It seems like Jack Black is the only one that understood the assignment and tried to sound like his character, Bowser. And we all know that Mario games don’t have much of a plot. That’s not the point. But that also makes them hard to adapt into a movie, so the route that this movie is doing is a Mario nostalgia vomit trip that combines every Mario game you’ve played. Nostalgia vomit can work, but this seems like the bad nostalgia vomit in the vein of “Space Jam: A New Legacy.” Sure, it would be great to have this succeed so that other Nintendo property can be adapted. But do we really want Illumination to be the ones in charge when we finally get “Legend of Zelda” or “Metroid Prime”? Can you imagine Chris Pratt as Link and how much of a nightmare that would be to everyone who has been wanting a “Legend of Zelda” movie for decades?

Book Club 2: The Next Chapter – May 12

Did you remember that there was a movie called “Book Club”? Did you know that it did well enough for it to get a sequel this summer? I didn’t see the movie, but the premise involved a group of older ladies becoming obsessed with “Fifty Shades of Gray” and that just did not feel like my wavelength. I guess  if the same audience that is planning on seeing “80 for Brady” this weekend has another thing to look forward to later this year… cool?

The Little Mermaid – May 26

Here’s a controversial placement of a movie. And right up front, I have zero qualms with Halle Bailey as Ariel. She looks like a beautiful, talented young woman that 100 percent deserves the role. I just have an issue with Disney’s original animated Little Mermaid. I think there’s things that definitely deserve to be fixed. And if this were a different director from a different studio making a different version of the movie, like Guillermo del Torro masterfully did with Pinocchio, then I’d be excited for a Little Mermaid adaptation. But I know Disney’s track record with their live action remakes and I know that they most definitely WON’T. And I’ve been one to defend Disney’s live action remakes in the past because not all of them have been bad. But they’re on such a bad streak that even I’ve been broken. This will be an exact carbon copy of 1989’s “The Little Mermaid” and those who loved that movie might be excited and pleased. But a carbon copy of that movie, together with every one if it’s problems, is not the movie I want. Prove me wrong, Disney. I dare you!

The Flash – June 16

James Gunn said he’s seen and loved this movie. I really hope those are honest words rather than words he’s obligated to say as head of DC. Because I’d love a great Flash movie. The problem is if we’re firing DC actors and cancelling projects left and right, I’m not sure why someone as problematic as Ezra Miller is not at the top of that list. But also, this movie has gone through so many different directors and different visions that it’s become exhausting. But also also, we’re about to start season 9 of “The Flash” on CW with Grant Gustin. And although I’ve not kept up with the Arrowverse as much as I’ve wanted to recently, I’ve still enjoyed “The Flash” and I think Grant Gustin is fantastic as the character. So I’ve never had much reason to be excited about this movie reset of the character. But sure, if they’re doing Flashpoint, that’s a classic story. And if they do it good, then this could work. If they have all of the Batmans and they do that as well as “Spider-Man: No Way Home” did, then it could be fun. And it’s also James Gunn and DC’s perfect excuse to reset everything to how they want it going forward. So maybe? The other three DC movies were in my good section. But this one I’ve just not been vibing with.

Insidious 5 – July 7

They’re doing a fifth Insidious movie? Sure, that tracks with the horror genre. Endless number of sequels to successful franchises. And if it was a franchise I cared about, perhaps I’d be more willing to oblige. But I actually didn’t really like the original “Insidious,” which was a surprise to me considering how many others did. And I never cared to see all the others, so I don’t really have a strong amount of confidence in a fifth one, nor do I know if I care to binge the rest just to be caught up?

Gran Turismo – August 11

Historically speaking, adapting video games into movies doesn’t work well. So I’m playing the odds. Even though racing games are one of the genres of video games I love, I will confess that Gran Turismo is not a franchise I ever dove into. I think the Playstation of it all is the main reason. So I don’t have as much expertise here, but still. This movie is going to have to prove itself to me. If it ends up being a really cool racing movie that Neill Blomkamp made, then that’s awesome.

Haunted Mansion – August 11

As you’ll see, I’m being really mean to Disney on this list. I remember enjoying the Eddie Murphy Haunted Mansion. And I’m sure the ride at Disneyland is great, even though I’ve not been on it. But is this really a thing we needed to do again? And if we are, casting Jared Leto as your ghost is not exactly the perfect choice to gain my vote of confidence.

The Equalizer 3 – September 1

Do we really need a third Equalizer movie? Granted, I never got around to “The Equalizer 2,” but I didn’t exactly hear a whole lot of votes of confidence for it. I’m not as opposed to this as I might be for others, but excitement is also not the emotion I’m feeling, either.

The Nun 2 – September 8

Believe it or not, I’m a bit surprised that we didn’t get this movie a lot sooner. “The Nun” was a massive box office success and usually when you get that for a horror movie, you want to capitalize on it by getting a sequel together as soon as you can. You don’t wait five years. That said, “The Nun” was one of the worst horror movies, which was extremely disappointing  considering how great the character’s introduction was in “The Conjuring 2.” It’s certainly bottom of the barrel for the Conjuring franchise and all its spin-offs. I’m not sure it’s even possible for them to win me over with a sequel, but I’m open to them trying.

The Expendables 4 – September 22

Does anyone still care about The Expendables? It was a fun novelty at first, but I think that novelty wore off fairly quickly and led to diminishing returns. And it’s now been almost 10 years since “The Expendables 3” was released in 2014. So why are we bringing this back? But even so, I thought the point was to cram as many old action stars into one movie as they could. Looking at their poster, they do have Jason Statham, Dolph Lungreen, and Sylvester Stallone, the mainstays from the first three. But the other names on the poster are… 50 Cent, Megan Fox, Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Randy Couture, Jacob Scipio, Levy Tran, and Andy Garcia? That’s the cast we’re going with to get people excited about a fourth Expendables movie after nearly ten years? I guess that means we’re cheering for Iko Uwais from “The Raid” and “The Raid 2” to beat up everyone, right? That’s the only name that excites me.

Kraven the Hunter – October 6

I’m not sure this is a real movie that exists and is getting released this year. Nor do I think it’s a good idea if it is. Did “Morbius” not teach Sony anything? I guess they’re thinking that the box office success of both Venom movies means that people are loving this trend of Spider-Man villains getting their own solo movies without Spider-Man. But I’m not so sure that’s an accurate reading. I think we should focus on Spider-Man movies and wait for those movies to introduce these villains in. But hey, I’m just one guy. What do I know?

Trolls 3 – November 17

I shouldn’t really be surprised a third Trolls movie is on its way from DreamWorks. To be honest, I never got around to seeing “Trolls: World Tour,” even though the advertising was highly amusing. Do to the COVID of it all and their experimentation of making it a PVOD movie only, spending the $20 to watch it didn’t seem like the best use of my time and money. After that, it just slipped away from me. Maybe I’ll catch it at some point, but “Trolls” was also not a movie that clicked with me. These movies definitely have their audience, mostly consisting of younger kids. I’m just not a part of that audience, I guess. DreamWorks is a fine studio that I often enjoy, but they’re also fairly hit and miss and “Trolls” just seemed a bit to juvenile and uninteresting to me.

The Color Purple – December 22

“The Color Purple” was a 1985 movie, directed by Spielberg, that was nominated for 11 Oscars. And of all movies to get the remake treatment, this would not have been very high at all. And I’m still wondering why. I guess the answer is that it was adapted into a stage musical in 2005 and this new movie is a movie musical adaptation of that. So I guess that can work? I looked to the writers and director to give me a vote of confidence. And although the cast looks great, said writers and director are names I don’t know. Blitz Bazawule to direct with a screenplay by Marcus Gardley. Neither have written or directed movies I’ve heard of. So I guess we’ll wait and see to for a trailer or more info to see if this will be worth seeing?

Untitled Ghostbusters Sequel – December 22

It feels weird putting a Ghostbusters movie in the bad list, but I did not care for “Ghostbusters: Afterlife,” so a sequel to that is not something I can get excited for. I hope I am proven wrong because this is a franchise that I would love to enjoy once again.

Peter Pan & Wendy – TBD 2023 (Disney+)

At least with “The Little Mermaid,” Disney has enough confidence to put it in theaters. Disney’s “Peter Pan” is an even more problematic Disney movie than “The Little Mermaid.” And not only is Disney redoing it in what will most likely be yet another carbon copy of their original, but they’re throwing this one straight to Disney+. And I want to say it’ll be earlier in the year, but we don’t know yet. So this is giving me vibes of last year’s remake of Pinocchio for Disney, which was really bad. Also, Peter Pan has been done a lot and most of those adaptations haven’t been any good, so that’s not a great track record to inspire confidence.

 

The Maybe:


Knock at the Cabin
– February 3

The final section is movies that I’m on the fence with, for one reason or another. And no director is a better example of someone you have no idea what you’re going to get than M. Night Shyamalan. It could be a really bad movie or it could be a return to form. And the funny thing is, this movie is now out and I still have no idea what I’m in for after looking at reviews. I don’t want to look too far into it because we need to save the Shyamalan surprise for the viewing experience, but there are some critics I follow on Twitter who said they hated this movie. Thinking that would result in a rotten score on Rotten Tomatoes, I was surprised to see a 70 percent? Which means plenty of people did enjoy it, but that’s low enough to still have no idea what my opinion will end up being.

Magic Mike’s Last Dance – February 10

I’ve not gotten up the courage to final check out the male stripper movies that are “Magic Mike” and “Magic Mike XXL.” The near unanimous reaction from people who have is that of pure shock that a movie they thought was going to be really bad was actually really good, with an equally as good sequel. So I’ll give this the benefit of the doubt and say maybe this will be good? Although I wouldn’t anticipate a review on this one from me any time soon.

Jesus Revolution – February 24

Christian movies are really hard to figure out. I love myself a really good, faith-inspiring Christian movie. But the honest truth is that there’s a lot of them that end up not being any good. This is one where an initially hesitant pastor opens up his congregation to a bunch of hippies in the 70s and it has a solid trailer that gives me hope. And it’s by the directors who did “I Can Only Imagine,” which actually is a good Christian movie. So I want to be excited. But I honestly don’t know.

65 – March 17

A sci-fi movie starring Adam Driver, who crash lands on a mysterious planet, quickly figures out that he’s on Earth from 65 million years ago and the only other survivor from his ship is a young girl. And yes, there are dinosaurs that he has to fight off and survive while he tries to figure out how to get home. And no, this is not a Jurassic Park movie. For some reason, dinosaurs that aren’t Jurassic Park feels like an odd novelty. In a month that already includes “Creed III,” “Shazam! Fury of the Gods,” “Scream VI,” and “John Wick: Chapter 4,” this has a lot of competition, but could become a sleeper hit?

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves – March 31

I have a friend who is very into D&D, who was very skeptic at the idea of a D&D movie, that watched this trailer and got really excited that this seemed to be leaning right into all the D&D lore, with lots of references that D&D fans would know and love. Granted, that’s just one person’s opinion, but it gave me the feeling that could hit well with a certain niche audience, even though I’m also almost sure it will have a Rotten Tomatoes score somewhere in the 30 percent range. It looks fun enough to me, though. I’m not a D&D person, so I have no idea how to react.

A Good Person – March 31

The latest movie from Zach Braff, director of “Garden State” and “Wish I Was Here.” I’ve not actually seen either of those, but I’ve heard both very positive and very negative things. So I’m not sure what to think. But it does star Florence Pugh and Morgan Freeman, which has my attention.

Paint – April 7

OK, this looks really strange to me. On first look, I thought it was Owen Wilson playing Bob Ross in a biopic and that seemed like a really strange casting choice, even though they had the makeup and hair done well enough to make him look like Bob Ross. But then I read his character’s name is Carl Nargle, which is not the name of a real human being, meaning this is a purely fictional movie that just gives off strong vibes of Bob Ross? The description is literally that this character is a local treasure with a soothing voice who has his own painting show for the last few decades. IMDb lists it as a comedy, so maybe this is supposed to be a parody. I don’t know, you look it up and be the judge.

The Covenant – April 21

Late April is not a release date that gives me much hope for anything. If a studio knew they had something good, they usually wouldn’t release it in April right before the beginning of the summer movie season, which in this case begins with “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.” That aside, this is a Guy Ritchie war movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal. Part of me really hopes that this is a good movie that got stuck with a bad release date.

Evil Dead Rises – April 21

The return of the Evil Dead franchise to cinemas. I guess my first thought is always that of skepticism when this happens. It could work. And apparently Sam Raimi, the original director of these movies, picked the person to continue the franchise. So that’s good news, right? But the person is… Lee Cronin? He’s only directed two movies, both horror, but both have low reviews and neither I’ve heard of. Also, late April release date. But hopefully it’s a surprise?

Big George Foreman: The Miraculous Story of a Once and a Future Heavyweight Champion of the World – April 28

This movie has a really long subtitle and that’s the main reason why I included it here. Also, future heavyweight champion? I’m not so sure about that. Also also, late April release date. But nevertheless, this is a George Foreman biopic. His story is an interesting enough one to tell and I usually enjoy a good boxing movie. So the year’s longest movie title could be decent.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts – June 9

I have a rule to always proceed with caution when it comes to Transformers movies. “Bumblebee” was good. But that was a spin-off. The original movie was decent fun, but all the sequels in the main saga have been really bad. But they’ve also all been directed by Michael Bay. “Bumblebee” was directed by someone else and was good. “Rise of the Beasts” is also not Michael Bay, so maybe we’ll finally get a main saga Transformers movie that is good? Steven Caple Jr. is the director of choice and he did good with “Creed II.” Michael Bay is listed as producer, so that is a tad bit worrisome, but I don’t know what his level of involvement is. The trailer looked great. But so has every single trailer for this franchise. So I’m hoping for the best, but not keeping my fingers crossed, if you know what I mean.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem – August 4

A new TMNT movie? Sure! I’m down for that! I just don’t know much information about it just yet, so it’s hard to judge. Is it a reboot? Is it following another TMNT story arc? I don’t know. It appears to be animated and is directed by one of the co-directors of “The Mitchells vs. the Machines,” so that’s a good start.

The Last Voyage of Demeter – August 11

August is another questionable month, especially horror in August. But as I was scrolling through, it caught my eye that this is a horror movie that’s based on a single chapter of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the chapter “Captain’s Log.” That’s a curious idea. A Russian ship is transporting a bunch of unmarked wooden crates and were stalked by a terrifying presence every night. When the ship was found on the harbor, there was no trace of the crew. I have no idea if this will be any good, but it caught my attention, at the least. And that’s something.

Untitled Saw Movie – October 27

I’m not a hundred percent sure we need another Saw movie. But I do listen to a movie podcast where people are big fan of the Saw franchise and it’s inspired me to maybe give it another look. I’ve never actually explored the franchise much. If I choose to do so, I have about nine months to watch the nine other movies leading up to Saw 10. Plus there’s “Spiral,” which is a spin-off from the other year that actually looked fairly interesting.

Wonka – December 15

I had no desire to see this “Wonka” movie with Timothee Chalamet as a young Willy Wonka. I was going to put this in the bad section and complain about it. But then I noticed that the director is Paul King, who directed both Paddington movies. That alone made me transfer it up a degree to the maybe section. If one guy can make a Wonka prequel work, it would be the guy who made two perfect Paddington movies, right?

Havoc – TBD 2023 (Netflix)

Netflix has a lot of generic action movies that come out and most of the time I consider watching them, but don’t often get around to it. And there’s a chance that “Havoc” ends up in that category. However, in browsing through the list of Netflix movies coming out this year, I noticed that this action movie is directed by Gareth Evans, who directed the Raid movies. So maybe this will be a fun action movie? It also stars Tom Hardy and Timothy Olyphant, which is a strong lead lineup.

Tetris – TBD 2023 (Apple TV+)

And the final movie I’m bringing up in this post, which again is not a fully comprehensive list, is one that about gave me a heart attack. There’s a lot of video game movies that seem like bad ideas, but a Tetris movie? Why? Upon further investigation, this is actually a movie about the high-stakes legal battle to secure the intellectual property rights to Tetris, which makes a lot more sense. And it stars Taron Egerton and Toby Jones. So that could be an interest movie. So it might be a good idea to actually take advantage and use my Apple TV+ this year instead of just giving Apple free money.

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